culture shock and 80s flashback

I took the opportunity this week to freak out about living in Indiana. I then stepped it up a notch and visited the Chicagoland suburbs on Saturday which further magnified the intensity of the freak out. It only really gets bad when I leave the house or have to deal with the school. I keep finding myself in scenes from Footloose and can only hope that Kevin Bacon will dance through at any moment...

relocation freak out

The house sale has recorded. We now officially live in Indiana and only Indiana and I can't freak out and drive back to Washington. OK, I might just freak out a little.

I guess I need to stop and look around now, and figure how I will fit in here.

The neighbor told me I need a hobby, she sees me post on Facebook every day. 

Good thing she doesn't follow my Tweets. 

time zones and inner clocks

I am having a hard time adjusting to Eastern Standard Time, it still feels like 2am when the alarm goes off :(

Because it is to my 40 something year old body that has lived in Pacific Standard Time for most of those years.

And it is dark here on the western side of the Eastern Time Zone. And this isn't just a winter thing.

coffee obsession, I'm not picky...

I am, in fact, out of coffee. I am not terrible particular about my coffee, other than there needs to be lots of it.

OK, like intravenous would be my preference.

I don't like flavored coffees, they give me a headache. I don't like "cheap" coffee, it upsets my stomach with too much acid. And I would never try one of those cup-machine-things, not only is the concept just out right wrong, I hear they taste like stale cigarette butts in water.

I prefer Sumatran or Italian roast, depending on my mood. I like to keep both drip and espresso grounds in stock, and I drink it black. I use to drink a 4 shot Americano, or four, a day but switched to drip when teaching because I took to carrying around a pump pot. 

I prefer independent coffee houses based on principal but will drink Starbucks, although it often upsets my stomach and frequently tastes funny. I have been buying Starbucks beans since landing in the middle of nowhere and having not yet found an independent roaster. I have not yet gotten over the concept of Dunkin Donuts coffee.

I am coffee obsessing and may need to go to the store. now.

silver lining on cloudy days

I keep thinking that I got paint in my hair, but we have not painted anything silver.

There are just a few strands, right at the part and bangs, and they sparkle in the sunlight.

* Bam * I am going to own these silver hairs babe!

I grew the highlights out of my hair for my 40th birthday. I use to be blonde. I figured at 40 I needed to be myself and stop trying to be someone I thought everyone expected me to be.

rays of hope and stress relief

Be kind. You never know what someone else might be going through. Better to be a little ray of hope than the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Lately there have been a lot of straws. I have been trying to focus on the rays of hope, but that is often a difficult task, especially when emotional, tired and stressed.

Remember that your life is completely full.

Stress is a funny thing, it comes from many, often unrecognized, sources. It slowly accumulates until you break or fall apart.

irrational and incoherent, with a smile

Monday.

That is a complete status. The tip of a very deep iceberg.

I feel as if I am about ready to fall apart, but I am the wife and mother so I will hold it together.

At least try to hold it together. There was that smallish breakdown Saturday night when I sat crying on the kitchen floor, snot streaming down my face. Irrational and incoherent.

But by Monday at 5 am I had pulled it together and went through the routine.

Tuesday I will even try it with a smile.

family time versus Facebook

They are making me play cards...they are calling it "family time." Why can't they sit on Facebook all night like other teens?!

I was dead tired last night and really wanted to crash, but one of the teens was channeling her angst into a card game called Phase 10. Not only did I have to be awake, but I had to pay attention too. It was fun while I was winning, but in the end I lost BIG time!

straws and camels

I really need Indiana to stop throwing straws on my back.

I never imagined how difficult a relocation would be, and I do not need help finding things to break down in tears over. Little things.

Just too many little things.